Friday 04/28/2023 - New York, NY
In a shocking move, an ad agency has revealed that they've been holding all their meetings in a low-oxygen environment to increase productivity.
"We realized that our meetings were getting too long and unproductive, Carl in Strategy requested something called napping tables for the meeting room. So we decided to try something new," said the agency's CEO, who preferred to remain anonymous.
"By dropping the oxygen content in the room to 87%, we force people to wrap things up quickly before they start feeling lightheaded."
According to the CEO, the results have been remarkable. "Our meetings are 50% shorter, and everyone is more focused and on-task. Plus, we've saved on coffee and snacks because people aren't lingering around after the meeting."
However, some employees are less enthusiastic about the new policy. "I hate it," said Lindsay F. Creative Director, who didn't wish to remain anonymous. "I'm constantly on edge during meetings, and I feel like I can't breathe. Plus, I don't think it's safe to be depriving ourselves of oxygen like this. Whenever I ask it's, "Don't worry, we'll just up the oxygen next quarter if performance increases."
The CEO brushed off these concerns, insisting that the low-oxygen environment is perfectly safe. "We've done our research, and we've found that this is a common practice among high-performing individuals and teams, especially ad agencies in Denver" they said. "In fact, I'm convinced that soon, all the top ad agencies will be doing this. People are much more collaborative and quick to solve problems during meetings now.
Only time will tell if other agencies will follow suit. In the meantime, the anonymous agency plans to continue holding its meetings in a low-oxygen environment, despite the occasional fainting spell. "It's just a small price to pay for increased productivity," said the CEO.